I have officially book my flight home for June 1 with a 5:45pm landing at SeaTac. With the email confirmation of my booking came the reality that my time abroad is half way over. I am pleased with where I have been while here, and I am looking forward to my upcoming trips. I have learned, experienced and lived, but I am not ready to go. I don’t think I will be ready to go even in June. I love it here.
That is not to say I don’t miss Seattle. I have waves of homesickness still. The most recent surge of melancholy was during the last week of February when I felt like I could weep on command. It could be a postcard of Seattle, a dog in the park that I wished was Parker, or a couple holding hands and the tears would flow without my permission.
I feel so emotionally confused by wanting to stay and missing home that the only feeling I am decided is one of conflict. I felt like "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by The Clash has become my personal anthem.
The scales will tip as the date gets closer. "Be where your feet are" your heart is directly overhead then and it is the best way to be alive and present to your own life. Aligned. Momma Mia ALL WAYS has you close in her heart and mind.
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